Revamp your life and you open new horizons, while closing a few old (dysfunctional) doors. Anyone who has lost 60 or more pounds and kept it off is a different person with a new life, new friends, and new ways to spend free time. You still have the tried-and-true old buddies, but you now visit with them at home over a cup of tea instead of over a full meal at a restaurant. You’ve also made new friends on your Wednesday-night bike rides. Family time is now time spent throwing frisbees or shooting hoops instead of watching TV, and the lunch hour is spent with a different set of coworkers who walk instead of eat. That doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy friends who aren’t as supportive, but you need to protect your weight-loss turf and not let their negativity throw you back to old patterns. They probably are jealous or insecure about the “new you.” If you can, talk with them in a non-judgemental way and let them know how you feel and what you would like from their frienship/relationship in the future.
It takes courage to break old patterns, connect with different people, and develop new past-times. Make it as easy as possible on yourself by linking the “new you” with something that’s already important in your life. For some, their walking time is their spiritual time or they hook exercise with socializing. To motivate yourself, use non-food rewards for daily accomplishments, such as stars on a calendar, new clothes, a movie, or allotting an hour to read a good book. Remember the “if…then” rule: If you accomplish a goal (exercise that day, skip dessert, etc), then – and only then – do you get the reward.